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Thread: Laughter: The Best Medicine

  1. #11
    Grade school Grade School Stoney Head Start Old School Teamster Stoney's Avatar
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    BEWARE HOME DEPOT SCAM
    1
    4
    A „heads up” for you all who may be regular Home Depot
    customers.

    Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam
    while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned
    out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't
    happen to you.
    Here's how the scam works:

    Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19-year-old girls
    come over to your car
    as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They
    both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their
    breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible
    not to
    look.

    When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say
    „No” and instead ask
    you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and
    they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each
    other.
    Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and
    performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

    I had my wallet stolen October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice
    on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 28th, three times just yesterday, and very
    likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more
    wallets.

    Again - beware!!

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  2. #12
    Administrator Old School Proud Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker's Avatar
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    'I Fixed The Gutter, Honey'


    Today my wife said. „Honey, fix that gutter downspout!”





    Well, as you all know, I'm retired. I invited some of my buddies over.




    One brought his welder.




    Took us about 4 hours, and 30 beers, but we got the downspout fixed and my welder buddy gave it an artistic flair.




    Wife is speechless...




    I cannot wait for it to rain again.



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    It does not take a majority to prevail... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men...Samuel Adams

  3. #13
    Administrator Old School Proud Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler's Avatar
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    I hate when people show my art of myself. But I know Docker meant well. YOUR WISHING I HAD MORE PIPE BROTHER ALWAYS!

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    Muler@oldschoolteamsters.com
    STAND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT OR BEND OVER FOR WHAT YOU DESERVE!

  4. #14
    Administrator Old School Proud Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muler View Post
    I hate when people show my art of myself. But I know Docker meant well. YOUR WISHING I HAD MORE PIPE BROTHER ALWAYS!

    Don't we all... lol

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    It does not take a majority to prevail... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men...Samuel Adams

  5. #15
    Super Moderator Old School Proud truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever Old School PROUD! truxforever's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Muler View Post
    I hate when people show my art of myself. But I know Docker meant well. YOUR WISHING I HAD MORE PIPE BROTHER ALWAYS!
    Hey Muler you would than be known as the plumber.

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  7. #16
    Administrator Old School Proud Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler Old School PROUD! Muler's Avatar
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    But as Docker will tell you I ran short on pipe that day! lol

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    Muler@oldschoolteamsters.com
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  8. #17
    Administrator Old School Proud Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker Old School PROUD! Docker's Avatar
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    A young Texan grew up wanting to be a Texas Sheriff.

    He grew up big, 6' 2", strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could

    shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally came of age,

    he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff's

    Department.

    After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his

    office for the young man's last interview. The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong

    kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have,

    what you might call, an „Attitude Suitability Test”, that you must take before
    you

    can be accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."

    Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said,

    "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:

    six illegal aliens,

    six lawyers,

    six meth dealers,

    six Muslim extremists,

    six Liberals,

    and a rabbit."

    „Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.


    „You pass,” said the Chief Deputy. „When can you start?”?











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    It does not take a majority to prevail... but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brush fires of freedom in the minds of men...Samuel Adams

  9. #18
    OLD SCHOOL TEAMSTER Old School Proud Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class
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    A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their parents do for a living. All the typical answers came up - mechanic, business, sales, doctor, engineer... and so forth.
    However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his parents, he replied, „My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”
    The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside. „Is that really true about your father?”
    „No,” the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is trying to get Biden elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids.

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  11. #19
    OLD SCHOOL TEAMSTER Old School Proud Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class
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    My wife and I went to the auction in Paris Kentucky the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
    'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
    My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs... smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'
    We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,
    ''THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'
    My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ... You could learn a lot from him.'
    We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,
    'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR
    'My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
    'That's once a day.. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'
    I looked at her and said,
    'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.'
    My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

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  13. #20
    OLD SCHOOL TEAMSTER Old School Proud Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class Crazy Old School Senior Class
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    A story to make you laugh in this time of Covid. A safe and happy holiday season to all.
    The husband leans over and asks his wife, „Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the High School where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”
    Yes, she says, „I remember it well.”
    OK, he says, „How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?”
    „Oh Joe, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”
    A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
    The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the High School and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
    The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
    After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
    So, as the couple passes, he says to them, „Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?”
    Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,
    "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.

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